Healthy Relationships

How HBLU Can Help

Learn How HBLU Helps

You Can Have A Healthy Relationship Whether You Are Married Or Single


“Healthy relationships are happy relationships.” Judith A. Swack, Ph.D.


What is marriage?


At its best, it is a lifetime together, a partnership with someone you like, respect, and love. You share resources and use your differences to complement each other by sharing your strengths. This creates a synergy that stimulates continuous growth and evolution.


In a healthy marriage you:


  • Take care of each other, and do what you can to make each other happy. In other words it makes you feel happy when the other person is happy
  • Are nice to each other. Knowing your partner’s sore spots, you are gentle with them in those areas and you encourage them to get help if they need it
  • Have regular sex, and are willing to do whatever you can to preserve that form of closeness. This includes dealing with the natural physical problems of aging and age-related health problems
  • Are each better together than you are apart

Whether you’re single or in a long-term, committed relationship or marriage HBLU ™ can help you create the healthy, happy partnership you want by:


  • Discovering what type of relationship you are ready for.
  • Helping you release yourself from unhealthy relationships or relationships that aren’t going anywhere.
  • Clearing dysfunctional family patterns so that you don’t unconsciously reproduce them in your current relationship.
  • Healing trauma from divorce, death, betrayal, abandonment, etc. so that you can start fresh.Clearing distorted ideas, assumptions, limiting beliefs, and negative feelings about men, women, gender roles, relationships, marriage, etc.
  • Helping you understand and appreciate each other’s Enneagram personality type so that you can complement each other.
  • Teaching you state of the art communication skills.
  • Helping you discover the surprisingly simple ways to make each other feel loved.

With HBLU ™ you work together to create a unique partnership that is ideal for both of you. We’ve helped people in their twenties, we’ve helped people in their seventies. Whether it’s your first or your fifth, HBLU ™ helps people get and stay happily married.

Related Articles

Open Does Not Mean Vulnerable

By Judith A. Swack, Ph.D. • August 26, 2025
Copyright 2025 Judith A. Swack, Ph.D. Jane was dating two men at once and having trouble deciding who to choose. She listed all of John’s wonderful qualities and all of Steven’s wonderful qualities and remarked, “If I could just put the two of them together I’d have the perfect man.” When asked why she didn’t just date one man who had everything, she said she was keeping one man as a backup because she didn’t feel safe with either one of them. Puzzled, I asked, “Why would you date, let alone marry, anyone you didn’t feel safe with? Clearly, you’ll never marry either of these men.” Jane simply looked astonished. Love is a beautiful thing. We all need to love and be loved. Sadly, many of us have been hurt by the people we love and who are supposed to love us. When that happens, we no longer feel safe, and we shut down the ability to give and receive love. The tragedy is that we can no longer feel loved or experience ourselves as loving beings. We no longer experience the nourishing flow of warm golden buttery energy that uplifts the heart/soul, connects us all, and soothes all pain. And everyone else we could be loving is robbed. According to the dictionary, the word “vulnerable” means open to attack. When someone says, “I’m afraid to be vulnerable” he/she should be afraid to be vulnerable, but he/she should not be afraid to be emotionally open, emotionally present, or emotionally close. Opening to give and receive love should not make one vulnerable. So what to do about it? With HBLU we acknowledge the fear and heal the traumas, dysfunctional family system and cultural brainwashing patterns that caused it. This allows people to reach out with their hearts and share one of the greatest gifts in life. If you or anyone you know would like to open your heart to love, get happily married, or improve your marriage or other relationships, HBLU methodology can help you. If you would like to learn more or schedule an appointment, please call 781-444-6940 , email [email protected] , or go to www.hblu.org . Blessings, Judith
A vector graphic of a woman with 4 arms multi-tasking. Cooking, signing papers, and watering plants

June's Miracle

By C. C. Life Coach • June 24, 2025
Dear Judith, Of all the work we have done, of all the monumental healings and shifts you and your work has helped to facilitate in my life- this piece was the most hidden, the most perverse, the most subconscious- and was driving my life into oblivion. I could not live one more day enslaving myself to my family, being stuck in a loveless abusive marriage. I was exhausted and stuck begging G-d for a way out (any way out). Until you your work and my soul discovered that we needed to unblock my energy fields from using evil to seduce- by running a pathologically self-serving and self-absorbed seduction pattern. Here I was a slave to my family, doing everything, getting nothing- I was the last person self-serving. How did my soul and you even find this. At first I thought no… Until you pointed out that this is what Enneagram 4s do to get love. And it all clicked. This was the seduction. IF I enslave myself, I will get love- so it was all my agenda my mission- I was “doing everything for them” which was the illusion, the seduction I was under- but it was truly a manipulative pattern I ran to try to get love from everyone I could. Only to fail miserably- and to feel even worse. I felt powerless and stuck. Until you said those words…. And through your work- we prayed- and the seduction and illusion vanished. Poof just like that! I can’t believe this has all been me all this time. I WAS DESPERATE TO GET: Love, safety, approval, success and wealth and WORSHIP AND WORLD DOMINATION What I learned was that I created a pattern of need. Everyone had to need me- I had to do it all- so people would love me. Because deep inside I doubted they could just love me for me. And that I truly don’t have to do anything for love. And neither does anyone… And that I just give it up and teach my family to be self-sufficient so they DON'T NEED me and we can establish love for the sake of love. OR SCREW UP MY WHOLE FAMILY AND LIFE PERPETRATING EVIL BY BEING PATHOLOGICALLY SELFISH. Here are my learnings: I’m just another cog in the wheel and that’s ok. We all are working together. No one better or worse. There is no need to dominate just to do each of our missions. I was seduced into thinking I was so selfless and altruistic because I was working for what I thought “was everyone else’s good” but was really still what I thought- and my agenda I have been self-abusing all this time, putting myself last so I could get sympathy and love. I was acting like a victim and poor me to myself & failing because I got no sympathy gratitude or love… When we interviewed my husband - I sat still. It was the first time I could listen to him and learn. I was still - like air. Without an agenda. And It’s the first time I feel still. And my nervous system relaxed. The first time I’m not working to get something in every action. Today I put my agenda down. It feels so light and relaxing and freeing It’s all been one big undercover operation to get love shrouded in a mission to do for others so no one would ever find me out. That it was all about me. And it didn’t make sense until you said I was pathologically selfish and self-absorbed. Me? No!!!… oh my gosh yes…. And the shell around me shattered. I can relax and just be me for the first time in decades…. You and your work- Judith- I’m just in disbelief- after being in disbelief many times- you’ve changed my life. Thank you Thank you Thank you. You’re a true genius Judith. I can never thank you enough. You are my teacher my mentor and I’m so grateful to have been given you to guide me in this life. I only hope to help your work reach millions. All the Best! C. C. Life Coach

Nothing Is Impossible.

By Copyright 2025 Judith A. Swack, Ph.D. • January 31, 2025
James ’s brother, Samuel , sustained severe traumatic brain injury from a car accident. He spent the year going to many doctors for treatment, but could barely function. Samuel complained that not only did standard medical care not help him, but the doctors ignored and mistreated him. Whenever James suggested any complementary therapies, such as acupuncture, chiropractic, or HBLU, Samuel immediately came up with excuses as to why going for that kind of treatment was impossible. (Notice that he didn’t claim that that kind of treatment wouldn’t work. He just made it impossible to get there.) James said, “Even though I feel really guilty about it, I’ve stopped trying to help him because he makes everything impossible.” Monica ’s 25-year-old son, Ed , suffers from such severe debilitating Crohn’s disease that he couldn’t finish high school, can’t work, can’t leave the house, and can barely leave his room. Traditional medical care and medication is not helping. Monica and her husband bought him a dog thinking that would cheer him up, but Ed does not interact with it. Monica has suggested and made appointments for many complementary therapies such as nutrition, naturopathy, family therapy, and HBLU, but Ed refuses to go to these appointments. Monica experiences guilt and deep sorrow that her son is so ill, and she and her husband haven’t been able to help him. Valerie ’s partner, Nancy , is 200 pounds overweight, suffers from ADD and severe anxiety, and hates her job. Nancy had been on medication for the ADD and anxiety, but when her psychiatrist retired, never attempted to find another provider and let her medication lapse. When Valerie suggested that Nancy find new doctors and get back on medication to help her mental function and treatment for overweight, Nancy refused to make any follow-up phone calls or emails. Although they had gotten engaged in the Spring, by Fall, Valerie had asked for the ring back. Valerie said, “I don’t think I can live with her if she refuses to take care of herself and won’t let me help her.” What do James, Monica, and Valerie all have in common? They feel deep sorrow, guilt, and frustration that they can’t help someone they care about deeply. But the people who are suffering are also trapped in a pattern that continues to cause them suffering. Both the impotent helpers and the perpetual sufferers are trapped in a seducer strategy called, “I’m impossible.” What is a Seduction Pattern? Seduction patterns are some of the most energy draining, perverse, and frustrating patterns a person can experience. People with seduction patterns get tricked into doing things they don’t want to do. They are unable to leave bad relationships, jobs, family, or other upsetting situations.
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Hear From Our Clients

Kerri Pearlman

The Post Club


Singles Find Love

“Hi Judith, I wanted to let you know that I came to one of your seminars back in ’04 at The Post Club and it was a life changing event for myself and a friend of mine. Because of that seminar, I have a new job that I love, I realized that I was in the wrong relationship and now have a wonderful boyfriend who I plan to marry, and my friend met her husband that same night – he was a member of The Post Club! Thanks for everything!!”

Kathleen B & Bruce B

Business consultant & Retired Business Executive


It’s not too late to say ‘I love you’

“I, Kathleen started working with Judith Swack several years ago to address a recalcitrant bout of depression. Working with HBLU™, the depression lifted; I re-built a successful business, healed the relationship with my son, and more. Two divorces plus 10 years living alone had made me pessimistic about ever having a healthy relationship. Since everything else in my life had worked out so well with HBLU™, I was willing to take a new approach in that area. After one long-distance relationship -which didn’t work out– I joined e-harmony, an online dating service. There, I met Bruce, a widower who had been happily married. I quickly knew he was the type of man I wanted in my life.


Shortly after I, Bruce, met Kathleen, I knew I wanted to focus on developing a wonderful relationship with this remarkable woman.


When I saw how much HBLU™ had helped Kathleen, I went to see Judith to help me with depression, back problems, relationship issues, and creating the kind of retirement life I wanted, all of which I accomplished.


After seeing each other for only 15 months, and working through the challenges of normal life, we (Bruce age 74 and Kathleen age 66) have found happiness with each other and have committed to sharing a life together. “We are rejoicing together in recognizing the sweet spots in life – one of the great gifts of this stage of life, and we’re moving in together this October! Yes, we can even say we’re in love.”