June's Miracle
Dear Judith,
Of all the work we have done, of all the monumental healings and shifts you and your work has helped to facilitate in my life- this piece was the most hidden, the most perverse, the most subconscious- and was driving my life into oblivion.
I could not live one more day enslaving myself to my family, being stuck in a loveless abusive marriage. I was exhausted and stuck begging G-d for a way out (any way out).
Until you your work and my soul discovered that we needed to unblock my energy fields from using evil to seduce- by running a pathologically self-serving and self-absorbed seduction pattern.
Here I was a slave to my family, doing everything, getting nothing- I was the last person self-serving.
How did my soul and you even find this. At first I thought no…
Until you pointed out that this is what Enneagram 4s do to get love. And it all clicked. This was the seduction. IF I enslave myself, I will get love- so it was all my agenda my mission- I was “doing everything for them” which was the illusion, the seduction I was under- but it was truly a manipulative pattern I ran to try to get love from everyone I could. Only to fail miserably- and to feel even worse.
I felt powerless and stuck. Until you said those words….
And through your work- we prayed- and the seduction and illusion vanished. Poof just like that!
I can’t believe this has all been me all this time.
I WAS DESPERATE TO GET: Love, safety, approval, success & wealth & WORSHIP & WORLD DOMINATION
What I learned was that I created a pattern of need. Everyone had to need me- I had to do it all- so people would love me. Because deep inside I doubted they could just love me for me. And that I truly don’t have to do anything for love. And neither does anyone…
& that I just give it up and teach my family to be self-sufficient so they DONT NEED me and we can establish love for the sake of love.
OR SCREW UP MY WHOLE FAMILY AND LIFE PERPETRATING EVIL BY BEING PATHOLOGICALLY SELFISH.
Here are my learnings:
- I’m just another cog in the wheel and that’s ok. We all are working together. No one better or worse. There is no need to dominate just to do each of our missions.
- I was seduced into thinking I was so selfless and altruistic because I was working for what I thought “was everyone else’s good” but was really still what I thought- and
my
agenda
- I have been self-abusing all this time, putting myself last so I could get sympathy and love. I was acting like a victim and poor me to myself & failing because I got no sympathy gratitude or love…
- When we interviewed my husband - I sat still. It was the first time I could listen to him and learn. I was still - like air. Without an agenda.
& It’s the first time I feel still. And my nervous system relaxed. The first time I’m not working to get something in every action.
Today I put my agenda down. It feels so light and relaxing and freeing
It’s all been one big undercover operation to get love shrouded in a mission to do for others so no one would ever find me out. That it was all about me. And it didn’t make sense until you said I was pathologically selfish and self-absorbed. Me? No!!!… oh my gosh yes…. And the shell around me shattered. I can relax and just be me for the first time in decades….
You and your work- Judith- I’m just in disbelief- after being in disbelief many times- you’ve changed my life. Thank you Thank you Thank you. You’re a true genius Judith. I can never thank you enough. You are my teacher my mentor and I’m so grateful to have been given you to guide me in this life. I only hope to help your work reach millions.
All the Best!
C. C. Life Coach

